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Aaaarggghhhh! I just hate myself!

New skin!

So here it is! The long awaited, hotly anticipated, duly feared new skin. Lol, just kidding. I liked the layout on some site, but it took a coupla hours to tailor it to my blog's needs. And I think its pretty much done now. What do you guys think? Its cool, right? And if you dont like it, then shut up. I dont want to hear I've wasted all my hardwork! Hehe, kidding again. I know I can improve on the header image. But still, if anybody thinks there are any flaws (font, colors etc) can just tell me. I ll pretty much try to improve on it :) Tell me its nice naaaa!

Inside story!

Its not that inside a story, but still, if anybody of you people is hooked up on huqa.com, then try to start forgetting it. They are launching the site (officially) in a few days, and WHAM! It will be off for all Pakistani/asian users. Shocking? Yeah. Atleast for the time being. They build the site in Pakistan, with Pakistani talent, hardwork; and they close the doors on Paksitanis! All Pakistani IPs will be blocked, and it will be launched in the US, cause they say, its made for US! Duhhh! *speechless* PS: If you havent yet seen the site, dont bother at all. Its pretty crappy.

Ghazal Freak!

Confession: I am a complete ghazal freak. I can listen to hordes of them, and never (NEVER) get bored. Be it Abida Parveen, Jagjit, Nusrat Fateh Ali, Ustad Amanat Ali Khan etc. Jagjit's ghazal "Koi yeh kaisay bataye" triggered this, and I had nothing worthwhile to post about. The tour pics aren't in yet (Damn Ash!), and I want to talk about the tour with the pics! So here is one of my all time favs:

Rukh say parda utha dey zara saaqia Bus abhi rang-e-mehfil badal jayega Hai jo behosh woh, hosh mein ayega girnay wala hai jo, sambhal jayega Tum tasalli na do, sirf baithey raho waqt kuch merey marnay ka tal jayega Kya yeh kam hai maseeha ke rehnay hee say maut ka bhi irada badal jayega Rukh say parda utha dey zara saaqia Bus abhi rang-e-mehfil badal jayega

Lollywood Rawks! Absolutely!

Last night I was forced to see a Lollywood flick due to the insistence and rock-hard determination of the maid. Although the story was pretty bearable (sic) I was particularly amazed by the movie itself, and it made me rather nostalgic about STN and the Shabnam/Mohammad Ali movies. They were waayyyy better than the stuff Lollywood is churning out now. So what does it take to make a movie that people will instantly recognize as a Lollywood flick? (Glaringly stupid mistakes/ways to accomplish things):

1. Title: Choose the stupidest title you can think of, like Gujjar Badmaash, Haseena 420, Puranay Mujrim. The movie last night was called "Mr. Fraudiay"!
2. Stuff as many lead actors/actresses as you can and your budget allows. Anything below three couples is highly susceptible to failure.
3. Get the weirdest choreographer and ask him to bring his weirdest best out, so that there is some interest in the movie. Come on, the Pakistani audience isn't decent.
4. Emphasize on all your actors to talk in Mustufa Qureshi/Sultan Rahi accent. Even actresses, yes. Everything should be "Roabdar" for the movie to succeed. Anyone who attempts to do a natural act, should be stricken off from the cast.
5. Project the villain as a Dr. Evil type, with superhuman abilities.
6. And the hero, as a superhumannatural (new word!), larger than life prude.
7. Use computers (in the movie) to show the actors are doing really important work, but make sure that they keyboards are not connected and screen savers with "PAKISTAN" written are activated.
8. Shoot everything indoors, and use age-old boards for sky-effect.

So these are only few of the things I think are necessary for a movie to be called a Lollywood flick. For instance, in the movie last night, Meera was supposed to be stranded in a boat in the river, shouting for help, and I couldn't help seeing a very distinct rope tied to the aft of the boat. So much for authenticity!

I saw a Lollywood movie after a long time, and I hope I wont have to see another one for a long time too! God help me!

KFC Pakistan!

Date: August 12, 2005. Venue: KFC, Lahore. The restaurant is decorated very lavishly in green and white buntings. The servers and managers are wearing the Pakistani flag on their shirts. There is even a special deal on the event of independence. "Free Nation, Free to choose". But there is a problem right there: Me: (beckoning to the lady who seems to be the supervisor) Excuse me? She: Yes! Can I help you, sir? Me: Ofcourse you can. You see, I am a little puzzled. (Meanwhile my friends are surprised why exactly I am talking to her.) Me: (in the most innocent of tones) Why is your restaurant decorated? She: (eyes me suspectingly) What do you mean? 14th August is coming up. Our Azaadi celebrations! We are proud Pakistanis! Me: Ahhhh! I see. Aur yeh gaanay konsay chal rahay hain? She: (looks stumped) Errrr, Indian! Me: Wow! We are proud Pakistanis! She: (is obviously stumped and embarassed) Just wait a minute, sir. I'll go change the songs. And the songs get changed from "Dus bahaney" to "Dil Dil Pakistan". She comes back to me, "Is it okay?" I guess yeah, it wasn't really a problem with me, girl. It was your image that was getting tarnished. So yes, its very easy to brag, but very difficult to hold to values. To actually do what we say. Let's try to be a little more honest. Let's love our country as it should be loved. Let's be Pakistanis, and proud ones at that.

I'm back!

Yes, I am back. To my city, to my love, to my home. Karachi is heaven, believe me. I've realised its value on this trip. There'd be no place in the whole world I'd like to live but in Karachi. So how was the trip? Um, thats a difficult question to answer. It was fun, it was tiring, it was hot, it was dusty, it was rainy, it was gloomy, it was full of life. And yet it was sickeningly sad. These kind of tours always teach a lot about life. And I learnt a lot. Many funny things happened along the way, and many sad things, too. I'd update all of you in a few days, a day-by-day account, inshALLAH. For now I think I should take a nap. If you read this, and can call me, then do call. See ya all!

Getting Back

16 days have passed. The tour is finally coming to an end. The sights and sounds of rural Pakistan have subsided and the hustle bustle of metropolitan Pakistan have taken their places. And so it heralds the start of my miseries. The realizations that I am not perfect. That I am the one at fault. That I am not convincing enough, and that you need proofs that I really have some feelings for you. So that it is. You got the proof. And I am miserable. I hope you deduce the correct results from them. I am waiting till then. God bless us all!